An 85 year old lady is waiting for her husband at the bar in Harpoon Harry’s. Suddenly, a very handsome man enters and sits down a few seats away.
The man is so attractive she cannot keep her eyes off him.
After a short time, the man notices her staring and approaches her.
Before the lady has time to apologize, the man looks deep into her eyes and says in a sulty tone, “I’ll do anything you’d like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams. I doesn’t matter how extreme or unusual it is, I will do it. For this I want $100 cash. And, there’s another condition.”
Completely stunned by this turn of events, the lady asks him what the condition is.
“You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”
The lady takes a moment to consider the offer from the handsome man. She reaches into her handbag and puts $100 in his hand. She then smiles, looks him square in the eyes, and slowly, but clearly says, “Paint my house.”
TWO LITTLE OLD LADIES….
Two little old ladies, Niamh and Tara, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall in Limerick, where a flower show was in progress.
The short one, Niamh, leaned over and said, “Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore.
For $10 I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show”!
“You’re on!”, said Tara, holding up a $10 bill.
So, Niamh slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes. She grabbed a dried flower from a nearby display and held it between her teeth.
Then, completely naked, she streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.
Finally, the smiling Niamh came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.
“What happened”, asked Tara ?
“I won $100 as 1st prize for ‘Best Dried Arrangement’!”.