Jen and her husband, both in their 70s, had five grandchildren, three girls and two boys. They were always there for their grandkids whenever they needed them.
Their youngest grandchild, Eloise, had recently tied the knot. Following their tradition, after each wedding, the grandparents would purchase the least expensive item listed on the wedding registry and also gift the couple $40,000.
Their tradition was a closely guarded secret, known only to Jen and her husband. Up until now, everyone had honored this pact.
However, when Jen called Eloise to discuss her gift, the granddaughter accused them of being cheap. “Seriously, Grandma? I just received your gift. An air fryer? That’s the cheapest thing on my registry!” Eloise exclaimed.
Jen tried to explain that she thought it was a practical gift, but Eloise wasn’t convinced. “Practical? Come on, Grandma, you’re wealthy, everyone knows it. I expected more from you. This is just embarrassing,” Eloise retorted.
Jen had reached her limit. “You’re right, Eloise. We’re cheap, old, and useless,” she admitted. “But what you didn’t know is that we planned to give you a $40,000 check the day before your wedding.”
As the argument escalated, Eloise expressed her frustration. “It’s obvious. You just don’t love me enough to show it. With all the pressure I’m under for the wedding, and then this? It’s like you don’t even care,” she said before abruptly ending the call.
In the aftermath, Jen and her husband decided against giving Eloise the money. A week later, Eloise called again upon learning that her siblings had received $40,000 upon their marriages.
“Why didn’t I get anything?” Eloise inquired.
“We felt that given your reaction to the wedding gift, it wouldn’t be appropriate to proceed with the monetary gift,” the grandparents explained.
“So, you’re punishing me? Because I was upset about an air fryer?” Eloise pleaded.
“It’s not about the air fryer, Eloise. It’s about the way you spoke to us, the disrespect. That’s not something we can overlook or condone,” Jen responded firmly.
“But that’s so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn’t mean any of it,” Eloise said tearfully.
“We understand that it’s a stressful time, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you’d understand the value of family and love over material things,” Eloise expressed. “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just forget all this happened? I need that money, Grandma.”
Eloise then threatened not to attend Christmas, accusing her grandparents of excluding her. Jen responded calmly, “We love you very much. This has nothing to do with cutting you off. We just hope you’ll reflect on this and understand why we made our decision.”
Switching gears to another story from TikTok about a grandmother who doesn’t bring gifts when she visits, DeeDee from the TikTok account MoreThanGrand has been offering advice to new parents and grandparents, sparking conversations on the platform.
Living away from her family, DeeDee sees her grandchildren a few times a year and has made a deliberate decision not to constantly buy them gifts. “I’m frugal, and I don’t want to waste money on stuff that’s just going to be cast aside,” she explained.
But the primary motivation behind her decision is to ensure her grandkids feel excited to see her. She doesn’t want to be solely identified as the gift giver but rather as the grandmother who offers support. Sometimes, DeeDee reads to her grandchildren or plays board games with them, leaving the games behind so they’ll anticipate her return to play again.
Some individuals criticized her approach, while others applauded it. “I had a grandmother like the one you describe… I perceived her as miserly,” one person remarked.
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