If You Don’t Want Your Kids To Be ill-Mannered You Have To Stop Making These 5 Errors
Children having temper tantrums and misbehaving is something that happens to almost every parent out there, without them even recognizing the issue.
These are the little behaviors and actions that, if in time you don’t react to them properly, will bring about certain repercussions in your children’s lives.
We are all aware of this, but it is also confirmed by Mrs. Emma Jenner, a very famous woman known for her show on TLC “Take Home Nanny”, in which she revealed five behaviors of current parents that sooner or later would suffer the consequences.
Emma tells us that it is vital that parents start demanding more from their children; in other words, to expect more from them. To involve them in their endeavors and difficulties. To give them less, in order to force them to get themselves going. To challenge them, that is.
Five errors parents nowadays repeatedly make:
You´re afraid of your children
Example: If a child wants to drink milk from a different cup, and not their usual one, parents immediately start looking for another cup instead of ignoring their request. They do so out of fear that the child will cry or refuse to eat.
For Emma this is a huge mistake. Why are you afraid? Who is your child to be in command of the both of you? You have to let them cry if they want to and go someplace else if you don’t want to hear it. But never raise your children indulging every single one of their wishes along the way. And above all think about what message you´re sending them when you give them all they want just because they are crying. Are you going to do something about it?
- Making excuses (“That´s how children are”)
If you justify their misbehavior and outbursts in public by using this phrase, you’re motivating them to continue misbehaving and be irresponsible.
Well, children are capable of doing much more than their parents can expect. This goes for respect, manners, everyday domestic work, generosity and self-control. Or maybe you think that a child can’t set the table by himself unless you order him to?
Of course he can, what happens is you haven’t taught him to, nor you expect him to learn how to do it. It’s that simple. Raise the expectations you have for your children, that way you’ll teach them how to behave properly, said Emma.
- You don’ let others scold them
This is very bad. Back in the day, teachers and professors could scold our children when they behaved improperly.
They were our eyes and ears when the children were out of our sight. Nowadays this is almost impossible, given the fact that, if a teacher or an employee gives a piece of their mind to a child, parents tend to get mad; they don´t even try to find out what happened to cause this kind of a reaction from a superior. If you act like this, you’re basically telling your children to misbehave and that neither you, nor the teacher, or the employee would do anything to stop them.
- Children come in the first place
We understand, by nature’s work, and thanks to it, we parents tend to look after our children too much. It’s good for evolution, I understand that and I defend it, says Emma, but we should also create a timetable adaptable to children’s needs, such as food, clothes, nursing and others.
Nevertheless, parents nowadays are taking it to another level, subjecting their own obligations and mental health to children, to satisfying all their needs and requests. You can’t give them everything they want, when they want. Neither can you burst out running for everything they ask for. Remember that this will take your peace and your health away, it will stress you out, but above all, it will show your children they are the ones that are in control.
Keep in mind that nothing will happen to your child just because you’ve taken some time for yourself (unless there’s an emergency of some kind), neither will anything happen if you say No.
- They use to take advantage of the shortcuts
According to Emma, parents today often resort to a series of shortcuts to avoid their children getting bored and thus start misbehaving. This is why they pack them with electronic devices whenever they´re waiting for a doctor’s appointment, boarding a plane, waiting for a bus, or just cooking and cleaning at their homes. You have to teach your children how to be patient. They should learn how to amuse themselves on their own. They should also learn that food won’t be ready and served whenever they want it to be. But above all you should teach them they need to help in the kitchen, but not with actual cooking, but with doing the dishes. You also shouldn’t set off running like crazy because your child fell over. He or she will know how to get up on their own.
This will help them become stronger. Of course, if something really bad happens, you should go help them, but do so calmly, without losing your composure.